Mother's Day '09

Well, it took a few weeks to get into the groove, and who knows how long it will be until I am pleasantly interrupted, but here goes!

So many of the nurses in labor/delivery and mother/baby had stories to share about their "thirds" when I shared that Peter was my third baby. (Of course, being a third-born myself, I was all ears!) One said, and I tend to agree at this point, that going from 2-3 is a lot easier than going from 1-2, because, as she put it, "you already have no life." I definitely understood what she meant, but let me try to take the negative connotation out of that statement...

Before I met Jason, I had a very active and full single life. That does not mean that I did not wish to meet someone and settle down with children, but I did not want to have any regrets. I traveled, I studied abroad, and I did my share of partying. After meeting Jason, we did a lot of dining out -- pretty much because if we wanted to spend time alone it was one of the only options we had. He had two bachelor roommates and I lived at home. We used to say that we couldn't wait to get married just to be able to eat in and cook for ourselves. Like me, Jason had done his share of traveling as well, so when it came time to settle down, we really didn't have any regrets. The last vacation we took was over two years ago when we took Owen to New Hampshire. It was then that we realized that vacation with a toddler is pretty much the same thing as what we were doing at home, just in a different place with fewer resources. Honestly, it seemed like kind of a waste of money to take a vacation when we weren't really doing much more than what we did at home, and ever after that we have "staycationed" and spent some summer afternoons pool side at the homes of our parents, where a quick dip with the kids was about all we could hope to accomplish. Similarly, the last place I really want to go with my children is a restaurant, or at least any restaurant that I would like to go to (McDonald's doesn't count!). It's not fair to them, frankly, to expect them to sit through three courses and stay on their best behavior. I try to think of a restaurant from the perspective of my 18 month-old, and I'm pretty sure he'd define it as torture. In teacher school, they tell us that our attention span is equivalent to our age in minutes, so that means that at most I can pay attention to something for 34 minutes (though I think I am 5 at most in attention years frankly). This translates to 90 seconds for Nicholas and 3 minutes for Owen before they'd like a change of scenery.

So, when the nurse said "you already have no life," I can see what she means as something positive. I used to define having a life as being able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Now, I can say that having the kids is the life -- it's the joy and it's the vacation -- certainly not the honeymoon, but a happy time nonetheless. After all, is there ever a perfect vacation?

A few words on Peter, or, as I have lovingly dubbed him "The Poopetrator." I think every male newborn has no choice but to be "The Peepetrator" -- I've gotten peed on by each of my sons, and that's a given, but my goodness, does Peter like a clean palette to do his artwork. As soon as one poop gets changed, he's either working on another or pooping into the wipe I'm using to change him. He's the most regular kid in town. And overall, he is a pretty good baby. Once #3 comes along, getting up in the middle of the night is not nearly as disillusioning, and we're a lot better informed. When he has an 8:30pm feeding, we all go to bed at 9:00. We don't wait around for the midnight feeding if we can help it, because who knows how much sleep there is to be had, so you might as well get it while the getting is good. When Nicholas screams out for his nuk at 5:30 am, we're awfully glad we went to bed when we did.

Many people have asked me how the older brothers are doing with Peter's arrival. The truth is, they have more transitions to make than just the one Peter brings. Firstly, they are not used to having as much time together -- Owen was at Kindercare and Nicholas was with Grandma A during the days, so first and foremost, they are getting used to playing together more. Then of course comes the change to just being at home here during the days and not being out and about so much. And then there's having me here with them and not being at work. That's a lot to take in, so add a newborn to the picture, and I think they're doing just fine. I've always suspected that kids are much better at transitions than adults are, though. Owen wants to hold Peter, and he's even offered to carry him for me (gulp!), so we must make sure that Peter is secure at all times, secure meaning buckled into his bouncy seat and behind a locked gate where he can't be gotten to. Nicholas is, well, nipple obsessed. He wants Peter's bottle, Peter's pacifier, and, well, Peter's place in my lap. I think that's pretty much to be expected from your average toddler who is "welcoming" a younger sibling. Nicholas is trying to be gentle with Peter, but Rome was not built in a day. If you noticed in some of the pics from the hospital, Nicholas was tugging on Peter's umbilical cord. Luckily, that has fallen off now, and he is on to tugging at his ears and feet, rubbing (aka smacking) his head and kissing (read slobbering all over) his forehead.

As I write, the two older boys are playing in the basement playroom. I'd better go. It's way too quiet for anything good to be happening in there. Last week, Owen ripped down some of the wallpaper border in the kitchen and drew on our dishwasher and countertop. "All quiet" is definitely no good!!!!!!!!