I'm Finally in the Advanced Class!

This picture is beyond dated by now. In fact, I have gained 15 pounds, had two other ultrasounds and an amniocentesis, and the baby has already started kicking. Oh, and spoiler alert -- it's another boy. They don't mistake those on the ultrasound, and for those who ever want to be surprised by the gender of your child, two words: LOOK AWAY. The technology is just too good not to see things clearly. And for any woman over 35 out there, just know that pregnancy after 35 is a whole new pregnancy. While I just turned 37 last week, I am officially considered to be "Advanced Maternal Age," a term which was likely coined to make women feel as though their pregnancies should be considered as miraculous as they were for octogenarian biblical matriarchs. So, while I see my standard obstetrician, I also get to see a specialist for old pregos. In fact, I was so lucky that I got to see two of them in the course of just a few weeks. Every possible genetic and chromosomal test has been run on me and on this baby. In fact, the genetic counselor (another assigned professional to the Old Preggers McGee here), just left a voicemail for me a few days ago saying that my entire battery of testing came back "normal." This just makes me laugh, since this child stands NO chance of being normal with parents like Jason and me.

No, it's not glamorous, which is why you might notice that I have not posted any pictures of myself. The other reason is that my maternity clothes got lost in the move. That's right. The gravy boat and the rusty Radio Flyer tricycle made it just fine, but I suspect that one of the mover's wives was expecting. Okay, I have no basis for that accusation. But I miss my maternity jeans, and I am not buying new ones. I have, however discovered the BeBand. This is a fabulous invention, though it did not take rocket science. It is a huge spandex band that you put over your unzipped and unbuttoned pants so you don't have to go buy maternity pants. Brilliant. And $15 at Target. And long after this baby arrives, I will keep it on hand for meals out and holiday dinners when I would want more than anything to unzip and unbutton. Let me know if you want to borrow it. Just not any time before March.